men

Psychotherapy is, by its nature, somewhat harder to use for men than for women.

Another way of saying this is that psychologists tend to be slightly more comfortable working with women than with men.

Of course these are gross generalizations and stereotypes — maybe not true for you, but true in general.

The basic setup makes immediate sense to women, I would say, more easily than for men. It is easier for most women to accept that it will be a good thing to do, and that it will be productive in the long run to sit down and talk about their feelings. Many guys will want some more evidence of the utility of doing this.

My practice has been about 2/3 men over the years, so I can claim to have some knack with men. In part I got this from experience — being a man myself, which makes me a minority in my profession, meant that I naturally wound up seeing more of the guys. Often a couple in distress will wind up being sent to separate therapists, and the guy would be sent to me.

I don’t exactly have a big sweeping theory about how to work with men, but I have always been OK with skeptical questions about therapy, and I have a functioning sense of humor, which is usually an asset. I would say that one fear men can have about psychotherapy is that there will be an attempt to make them more like a woman, and I don’t do that.